snow and warm coats and being helpful and harry potter marathons and diet coke and riley and waking up early because i got lots of sleeep….mmnnnn yes its the last week of break.
>>be enough to fully encompass and describe how much i needed this weekend (or how much i missed you). i missed this. the thinking, and being involved in conversations that pushed to examine myself and my motives and the world and people in this world. and I’m speeding away from you now, barreling down the highway at 77 mph, but this feeling of peace, of finally being able to speak to someone and be honest and unload its left me prepared to go back. lingering impressions, scents, memories, footprints. these i now hold inside me. and i can see a day moon outside the window of the car and sometimes its hard to remember that the night sky is always present even if we can’t see it, and you will always be there even if I’m not with you and when i look up at the moon i can reflect on night wanderings, of cold grass and stone steps, of frosty breaths, of faint stars, and spiraling smoke, moments defined by what was and what wasn’t and the idea of just breathing and spending time together
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i’m going home in nine days. nine short days. time passes in such odd ways. but this - this is tangible. it’s odd. I’m going to miss my life here. being in charge of my schedules, of having a place all my own. this independence. I’m different then when i left pdx. but at the same time, i’m not going back to people who haven’t grown. we all change, morph, and develop. change is the only thing we can rely on, and yet its the very thing we push away. nine days, 3 exams, one plane ride, to the 503.
>>i think i made the dearest of friends when i wasn’t looking for anything or anyone. its odd to think you don’t know whats missing until a hole has been filled.
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