January 2012
3 posts
4 tags
*
snow and warm coats and being helpful and harry potter marathons and diet coke and riley and waking up early because i got lots of sleeep….mmnnnn yes its the last week of break.
3 tags
3 tags
words can't, (won't) ever
be enough to fully encompass and describe how much i needed this weekend (or how much i missed you). i missed this. the thinking, and being involved in conversations that pushed to examine myself and my motives and the world and people in this world. and I’m speeding away from you now, barreling down the highway at 77 mph, but this feeling of peace, of finally being able to speak to someone...
December 2011
17 posts
3 tags
people are judging…
4 tags
4 tags
3 tags
i wanted to say yes, but i didn’t want to appear to broken. so i lied.
it just hit me.
i’m going home in nine days. nine short days. time passes in such odd ways. but this - this is tangible. it’s odd. I’m going to miss my life here. being in charge of my schedules, of having a place all my own. this independence. I’m different then when i left pdx. but at the same time, i’m not going back to people who haven’t grown. we all change, morph, and...
i think i made the dearest of friends when i wasn’t looking for anything or anyone. its odd to think you don’t know whats missing until a hole has been filled.
3 tags
2 tags
“Well, you never knew exactly how much space you occupied in people’s lives.”
– F. Scott Fitzgerald, Tender Is The Night. (via aacissej)
3 tags
i can see you pushing me away, and i get it. i haven’t been exactly open with you, but that doesn’t give you a right to pull the wool over my eyes. even though i haven’t let you in, you’ve let me in too much. i can read you and all of your actions.
6 tags
4 tags
November 2011
11 posts
4 tags
hrrrmmmm...
i was blissfully asleep by 1am, which is a first…until we had a fire drill at 1:20am. really. really. I’m awake now, thanks.
5 tags
3 tags
i think i’ve gotten used to being alone…
4 tags
1 tag
“People say I make strange choices, but they’re not strange for me. My sickness...”
– Johnny Depp (via thechocolatebrigade)
4 tags
i feel more centered, balanced and things aren’t as bad and maybe thats because I’m tipsy tumbling but i cuddled today and slept a lot and spent time with good company and we had our first snow and the leaves are still falling and I’m ready for november.
October 2011
8 posts
2 tags
4 tags
we numb ourselves to our silent self-destruction. spiraling, spiraling, and i am lost in a myriad of dreams and forgotten miseries.
1 tag
1 tag
5 tags
6 tags
night
first college all nighter (ill probably regret those words soon enough) but i have all afternoon to sleep and nest in my room and its so peaceful being awake at this hour. and i am sitting in the common room with a very dear friend and we already made a date to go to salvation army together on wednesday, and we both happen to stay up too late just because. and i am reading neitzsche and eating...
5 tags
my windows propped open, even though the air has turned cool, but the humidity is gone and it smells sweet and theres a bird singing nearby. i have a paper to revise yet and i’ve been napping on and off all day and its just screaming lazy sunday afternoon. and i think i am going to take some kind of art class next semester and psychology and probably another biology class. I’m excited...
September 2011
11 posts
4 tags
*
i would rather let the people around me be happy then find someone myself. i always move away, let distance slide between us and say “go ahead” it means more to you than to me, but the pain hurts and bites. and maybe this isn’t the time. and maybe i am overwhelmingly tired and i should be happy with what i have but its hard to know whats gone, if you’ve never...
2 tags
1 tag
3 tags
missing
emotionally drained and tired and achey and i finally broke down and cried and it was over something so small, but it was that one little thing i didn’t need today and all i wanted was a hug. so i called my beautiful sister and she listened to me while i bawled and i miss my siblings a lot. i remember saying that i couldn’t imagine having to live without them, and now i know what it...
6 tags
lists
study for bio test
write outline for essay
meet with prof.
schedule meeting at DHC
get weekly schedule for cpyb
pic up one more work shift
sign up for outing club
check in on volunteering at hospital
so much to dooo
6 tags
weissewiese:
cairn:
noun • a heap of stones piled up as a memorial or as a landmark
johhnnny! (i love you bunches).
*
i’m up way too late studying and listening to music. and i have a review session tomorrow at 11am so ill probably finish studying and then take a power nap and head over get lunch and then go to sleep. my sleep cycles been off ever since i stayed up late on thursday night. oh well, I’m finding my place.
4 tags
its odd because we all have pasts, stories that no one else knows. who we are is not who we were, and our paths are twisted and we meet as blank slates and judge too quickly. years can’t be translated into minutes, and no matter how late we spend learning about one another, the moon eats her way through the night - it just takes time.
“In the street of the sky night walks scattering poems.”
– E.E. Cummings (via rosettes)
1 tag
6 tags
the start of things
its beginning. school friends. settling. i just got back from my chem lab and it was unnecessarily long and my lab partner went to slow and i ended up doing a lot of the work and then feeling bad because i didn’t want to rush her too much. and we ended up finishing before everyone else. and the rain has finally stopped, at least for now. and the walk back wasn’t as long as the walk...