…as much as i love the time i have to myself, sometimes i don’t find breaks the most enjoyable. i think its just hard for me to not have a rhythm or routine to follow, i think i get lost in life, swamped with thoughts and reflections. its not that i am unhappy, i just feel out of sorts. in an earlier post i mentioned that i felt gray and i think thats still true. i think that the holidays are just hard for me personally, i kind of go into a deep place in my brain. its not a bad place, its just reflective and thoughtful, i think the holidays bring up a lot of memories and things i want to forget. its not just the fact that i get all think-y that bothers me, i think a lot of my annoyance stems from my sleep pattern, which is all over the place, i have really weird dreams. dreams that are generally not enjoyable and that bring up issues that i have with myself or with my life in general. so i am sorry for the lack of posting over the past couple weeks. i just think that i have been out of sorts. i think that this post helped me figure out my feelings out and i am sorry if its just clogging your dashboard. ill try and be more positive.
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